Lucy, one year ago
That's how Dr. Gooch lovingly greets her when he comes home from work. Shark Bait.
Sometimes, when nothing is going on (rare) and I've checked my email and the dog has been let out and there is no one to call or be picked up and dinner is planned I let my mind wander back to that evening on the beach, July 19th. I will never forget that day but I think I will always try not to re-live it.
Lucy, late this summer
But, in these rare moments I do. Relive it. Four months later, the memory, once I dig it up, is still as fresh as, well...sea water and bright red blood, if I am to be truly accurate. The picture of her laying in the water unable to get up and run away from real life horror and then her leg...makes me dizzy almost and I hold my breath and close my eyes and even cry sometimes. I'm trying not to get angry at myself for this. For still feeling these things now. I'm trying to be kind to myself and remember that even though it has been four months, it has only been four months.
Lucy, on Sunday
And like a move, a marriage, a puppy, a newborn baby, it also takes a whole year for true recovery. Whether it happens sooner or later, I'm allowing myself, all of us, a whole year.
After a year, you know where the post office is and the quickest way to get there. After a year, you understand that a relationship is a process and you cease panic attacks every time something goes awry. After a year, (hopefully) there are no more puddles in the corner of the dining room. After a year, you get your body back and the baby can hold a spoon (and use it).
After a year, you get back in the water and fall in love with the ocean again and you never ever take for granted the strength and resilience of your little girl (or having both legs).
Lucy is device-free! No more crutches or boots. No more visits to her surgeon, Dr. Zeri (though we will certainly keep in touch) and no more physical therapy appointments. Just a few exercises and promises that she'll be able to meet her goal of ballet by her birthday in March!
I can't not thank you for your prayers in this process. Though we still have some months left to "back to normal", we have seen the miracles of yours and our pleas.
Lucy asked, "When will I get to see all my friends at the hospital?"
We wondered aloud, which friends?
She informed us, "all those girls who would bring me my tray!!"
We have more than doubled our "friends" since July 19th. Thank you.