I recently read an article in New York Magazine with that headline. It was an article on having children these days. The whole thing deserves a read but it concluded especially well.
What are those very things that "in the moment dampen our moods"? Let me tell you: Hazel waking up for the third time. She doesn't come down the stairs to where I am, but stands at the top of them moaning and groaning about one of a handful of complaints:"The very things that in the moment dampen our moods can later be sources of intense gratification, nostalgia, delight.It’s a lovely magic trick of the memory, this gilding of hard times. Perhaps it’s just the necessary alchemy we need to keep the species going. But for parents, this sleight of the mind and spell on the heart is the very definition of enchantment."
-need to go potty
-need a drink of water
-achy legs, need medicine
So I hike up the stairs skipping every other one hoping to skip over this mood dampening that much sooner.
Then, after she drank the grape flavored goop from the little plastic cup, I was urged further to "lay down with me" and watched the miracle of her mouth telling me a story about a princess and the man in the black hat. I counted her freckles and noticed how her still-baby cheeks bulged out with each giggle and smile. She stroked my cheek when I told her good night.
Hazel (3), matter-of-factly, "I'll marry you, Dad!"
Dad (34), "I'm already married. But you and Lucy will find wonderful boys to marry when you are older."
Seth (7), out loud to the group, "So will Avery (2), because she's so cute. She's probably the cutest baby in the world."
Then, Seth leaned over to me and asked in a whisper, "Can I marry Avery".
My parents have recently had the
But maybe that's it. Maybe our memories are gilded. I've made claims of insanity. And I stand by them. I feel driven to it daily. The relationship I want with my husband seems far out of reach and the one we have feels at times strained. I know this is because of the children. I've never sugar-coated and I won't start now. The species does need to be kept going. These little children need their own chance on earth. I know this is why we do it because otherwise we wouldn't.
My heart is spellbound. I am enchanted by these children.
They are truly worth every lost wink of sleep and dampened mood.