Thursday, May 13, 2010

My Favorite Time, For Now


My favorite time is right after they all fall asleep.  The children.  I was thinking this morning that the emotion that a normal adult experiences in a week, we go through in the few hours before school.   Seth is a really obedient child.  Always has been.  But he has some aggression.  He's an internalizer, like his Dad.  They internalize.  It's like notching closed the nozzle at the end of a hose.  So, this morning, things weren't going his way in the fort-building process taking place in the girls' closet.  So Lucy got a slap to the face.  Lucy came crying.  So, I decided now was a good time to get out of bed.  7:05.

We're really working on this.  The aggression.  I took $.50 from his metal box full of coins.  He told me, "I hate you."  Which stings more than you think it would.  He told me, "You're not allowed to take my money."  I told him, "You're not allowed to hit your sister."  These are the trenches, my friends.

We came home from a wonderful night watching Wicked at the DPAC.  I paid the sitter and sent her home next door and went to tidy the kitchen.  There on the table were five dead flies.  I called for Dr. Gooch, "There's been an insect suicide pact in our kitchen!"  Come morning, Seth confessed that he was the culprit in these deaths.  I have no idea how he did this.  Then Lucy chimed in:  "I helped, too!"

Back track to last night.  We left on our date with all the kids in bed except Seth, the oldest.  I told Lucy that if she got out of bed that I would take away her new lip gloss she picked out from Michael's.  Okay, Mom.  I promise, I'll stay in bed.  

Fast forward back to this morning.  "So, does this mean you got out of bed last night to help Seth kill flies?"  So I took away the lip gloss and Lucy's world as she knew it ended in that moment.  We got in the car trailing tears and mother-guilt and I dropped the punished off at school.  

My favorite time is right after they fall asleep.  It means that maybe a little REM might reset the traumas of the day and I have some time to recover and prepare to do it all over again.  Because, as you see, it starts before I even get out of bed.

12 comments:

k a t y said...

Oh, man. Not the lip gloss. It's all so draining, this mothering of young ones.

Jessica said...

Oh, man were my first thoughts too! I'm trying to figure out how to get Asher man to STAY in his bed and no amount of bribing or threatening influences him. YOU are doing WONDERS as a mom.

kera said...

I too have an internalizer, also like her dad....eeerrr I think her dad. AND I too enjoy the sleep time for them especially on those really bad days where they have forced me into exhaustion....even more than they and I can pray for forgiveness and pray that God will help me be a better mom the next day! Some days I feel so inadequate for this job. Thanks for this post!!!

madsta said...

its not so long ago I was getting told off for the same things! i cant remember how many times i must have done those things to my mum, but i didnt mean them, neither did he :)

jenica said...

it is such a good feeling to walk into their room after they fall asleep. i watch their breathing, i see the curve of their eyelashes flicker as dreams set in... and all of the angst of the day gets washed away...

sara b said...

I cross my fingers every night that the REMS will reset day's traumas.
Tonight I will cross them extra tight as today I was extra cross.

I know all about mother-guilt.
I am so relieved to have friend in you to write beautiful words like this that make me feel better.

Tasha said...

It does start before we get out of bed.... and I'm tired...

Tracy said...

Some of the scenes you describe sound remarkably similar to the goings on at our house.

BRENTandROBIN + two said...

This post is great! Oh the cruelty of being a mother, right?!

love you.

Ann said...

I like what Madsta said.

Hope today goes better for you!

Susannah said...

I always appreciate the "trenches" posts as much as the perfect day posts. Hope all is better after school.

Kurt Knudsen said...

Great photo of Craig and the Haze in that incredibly comfy-looking bed.