Thursday, May 06, 2010

Celestial Pressure

It was hot today.  We've been hand watering after several days of no rain.  I planted some ferns and hanging pots for the screen porch for my mother's day.  But the sweat began to negate the joy I would otherwise be finding in such a task.  So I peeled off my gloves and wandered truly aimlessly up to the bedroom.  The air was cool up there and the sheets drew me in.  There, Dr. Gooch found me and sat to chat.  I asked him if he ever felt a lot of pressure to get into the Celestial Kingdom.  He laughed and hearing this thought out loud, it was humorous sounding.  I confessed that I sometimes grew tired of trying so hard to be good.  

You are good, he insisted.  

I'm tired of being a woman.  We are so amazing and do so many things all at once and we are good at all of them.  It is exhausting.  I'm tired of feeling guilty for losing my patience with my children.  

He says, that the guilt is good.  It is when indifference creeps in that you start to worry.  The guilt means you have the desire and together they will lead to progression.  

Then, I asked him if he would build me four additional coops out back?  One to put each rascal in at bedtime?  I think this would cut way way back on the lost patience issue.  I didn't really ask him this.  But, I'm going to as soon as he gets home.  


k a t y said...

Such sage advice, as guilt plagues me CONSTANTLY. Dr. Gooch makes me feel better. A doctor of all sorts. Then will he come down here and build 5 more coops. Please?

Sam and Cherin Melessa said...

Ingenious idea. Never thought of coops! I'll order four from the Dr.

Tracy said...

I recall an instance in NOLA at a group church function...when we both just had one which you acted surprised when someone said that she sometimes lost patience or raised her voice at her kids (I don't remember the exact words or who made the comment). You said you had never done that with Seth (he was, of course, very young still). I remember thinking you must be a saint...or perhaps Seth was the saint! Next door, a toddler lived who habitually took off poopy diapers and smeared them all over himself and the house; he was a very trying toddler, to say the least.

It is still hard for me to imagine you loosing patience with your children; you seem the epitome of patience with your kind and gentle tone. It's good to know I'm in good company with the guilt thing, though. We can only do our best. :-)

LJ said...

"i got enough guilt to start my own religion." isn't that what tori amos said? i think a little tiny bit of guilt goes a long way. you (we) do enough. you (we) are enough. i say we all enjoy a few hours of quiet satisfaction at the miracles we work everyday.

Tasha said...

I think we all feel like that to varying degree, and I KNOW that you are a wonderful mother. Guilt can be good, like Craig explained, or it can be like an alarm clock going off, that you just drag around all day, iritatating and distracting you, not helping you to change anything.

The coops WOULD serve a good purpose, especially since you have such nice weather most of the year!