Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Good Night, Lucy
It's the end of my first day back. After four days away I'm a bit off my game, which turns out to be a really good thing. When Lucy sauntered out of bed, down the stairs and around the corner (for the third time tonight) I shock us both by not snarling at her to "get back in bed!" but instead gave her a sneaky smile and lifted her heavy 5-year-old body into my arms.
"I just can't sleep"
We made our way back up the stairs and laid down in my bed. The room was nice and cool as three windows were open sucking in fresh evening air from outside. I laid my head right next to her face. I love to watch her lips when she talks.
"It's hard to be little", she admits, staring out the window on the far wall.
"Is it? Why?" I prod.
"Because", she shrugs and frowns, "you fall down all the time. When you're big, you don't ever fall down."
"It's nice to be little, too, though."
"Yes, it is. You get to play dress up and twirl"
A big pause. A sigh. Then devastation. Her lips tighten up and curl around her next words.
"When I am big, I will miss dress ups soooo much", she utters on the verge of tears. She is truly saddened by the prospect. She is so convincing I nearly tear up, but instead, compose myself to offer consolation.
"But, also when you're big, you can dress up in other dresses."
"Like a wedding girl dress!"
"Can you put on your wedding dress whenever you want?"
"And just twirl?"
"Yes. Except my wedding dress was stolen." As if I needed to add more drama to the conversation.
"I know." We've discussed it before. "Who stole it?"
"I don't know."
"I think it was Claire's Mom." Claire is a girl in her preschool class.
"No. I don't think it was."
"It was a boy probably."
"Maybe, I don't know."
"It was. And we should just knock on everybody's door in New York City until we find it except the houses for sale because no one lives in those ones"
She continues, "We might die."
"We won't be able to drink or eat but I think we won't die, because Heavenly Father will help us."
"Heavenly Father will help us find your wedding dress, Mom."
I scooped her up at that point to sneak her back into bed. And she asked,
"What does heaven look like? Will there be flowers there? Will you die when you turn 100? How tall will you be when you're 100?"
"Good night, Lucy."