Wednesday, January 07, 2009

"There's nothing in a shave or a cut that could make me love my girl any less"







When I was trimming up her locks the other day, Lucy said, "Mom, when my hair is really long, don't cut it, k?" I agreed, realizing that she hadn't yet realized that by trimming her "short" hair it would actually never get "really long".
Often, I get overwhelmed at how much the children, my children, are *at my mercy*. It is a fine line I walk here. I believe in wearing the pants as far as my relationship with them goes, if only for the reason that really, I know better. It is a simple matter of math: my experience > their experience. But...I also believe in letting them lives their lives. You know, making choices, mistakes, encountering disappointment, dealing with disappointment.
I haven't yet found that effective angle. The one where I lead wisely. Some days I just lead. Some days I'm only wise (some days I'm really dumb). Rare is the moment of ideal intersection. It's a steep learning curve. Which means, I guess, that I've come a long way and I've got a long way to go. But, when I get stuck and impart neither wisdom nor leadership--love always works. Love always works. Gentle, forgiving, trusting love.

11 comments:

Tasha said...

When all else fails, I pull them on my lap and read a book, or play hide and seek. Sometimes I just need to press pause on what I don't know, and do what will work (albiet momentarily)

Crystalyn said...

love it jordan. it's so true.

Rebecca said...

Yes. Love the Gift of the Magi quote.
And I love Lucy.

Kurt Knudsen said...

Love Lucy's locks. Love your keys.

Ann said...

Amen sista!

Michelle said...

Yes, we ran into this situation just this morning after three weeks of letting Rose be free to wear things as she pleases and now back to wear my ensembles, she did get to choose her jeans. I love that hair cut, Rose's first hair cut ever was just like that and we were planning to cut her hair just this week! I love your words- thanks.

Ingrid said...

Perfectly put, Ms. Jordan. True! True! True!

bird on the lawn said...

that gal has the most beautiful profile i have ever seen.

amy m said...

It's definitely a learning curve. Leading and letting go is something that has more recently come into my family...a battle of wills. I've realized more and more that I need to give it to them so they can learn...start to let their experiences shape them.

It's a process for you and them and believe it always will be. And yes, I totally agree, love will always be there to soften.

The Original Mangums said...

Love the cut, it is perfect for her. Love that Lucy!

michelle said...

I love the way you find wisdom and deep thoughts in everyday things like haircuts, Jordan.