Sunday, March 16, 2008

Vows

I go to bed each night with a bit of a wrinkled brow. I also go to bed each night with vows of "more patience" on the morrow. These vows roll over with me, take sips from my water glass right along side my sleepy head, they shuffle close behind for my midnight pee. They are devoted bed companions, they hold their own all through the night, all through Lucy's 3 am pacifier hunt and Hazel's wee-hour proclamations and Seth's itches and achy legs.

Then, dawn breaks--those vows. What is it? Is it the light of day? The noise that scares them away? The king's portion of breakfast left on the floor after the diners have flown? Are they intimidated by the sheer number of trivial fits? Is it Lucy? Is it Lucy and Hazel's recent discovery in each other of a new sparring partner? Perhaps the vows--do they feel ignored? Or, is it me?

The holy is pictured above. The messy is how we pass our days to get to the holy. Will there always be more messy than holy, mom?

8 comments:

Krista said...

Oh man, some days I think that muscle between my eyebrows is just going to burn out it gets so overworked.

Beautiful, wonderful post mama. It so hit home with me.

Wishing you a settled and peaceful "3 am" and an unfurrowed brow very soon... I sure could use one myself!

Parkinson Family said...

hey sister mangum, this is lindsey (pierce) parkinson. I found your blog from sis haderlies. I was thinking about how grown your kids are, seth was so tiny when you guys were in the singles ward, i remember going over your house and you teaching us how to make bread. I have a made it a few times since then so thanks! but anyways, we just wanted to say hi and congratulatiotns on baby #4, they are so adorable your kids! and we have a blog too its tylerparkinson.blogspot.com
cya

Jenny Dahl said...

Yes, yes, yes! Those darn vows that must be renewed daily. One of these days we'll get it, or maybe our kids will make some vows of their own and it will all come together. Until then I too am constantly sweeping the kitchen floor, breaking up squabbles between them all and hoping for a little attention and appreciation. It will come, someday!

Michelle said...

Definitely a most precious time of the day quiet and where I can observe and wish I could've done better.

rebecca said...

I love that you threw this out to your mom. Just like Lucy will, in 25 years.

amy m said...

I think now we definitely live in the messy more than the holy and when we finally get the holy we miss the messy. Perhaps then though, we will find more patience. You've successful reminded me to be ok with the messy. thanks.

Tasha said...

I know just what you mean Jordan.
You say it much better than I think it, but I hear you. I have to believe that in the end there will be far more holy, but now, it feels messier.

michelle said...

Oh, Jordan, you have such a way of articulating the trials of motherhood! If rearing young children won't teach us patience, I don't know what will.