...Since we do everything together and he/she pretty much consumes my life I should probably start referring to my pregnant self as "we". I am 9 weeks. He/she is the size of a grape. We have 217 more days to go. You guys, that is pretty much like a whole year. I'm not dramatic. Am I? A good friend recently quipped, "You've always been dramatic, Jordan." What? I feel I only tell it like it is.
Seth is a head short of his teammates. He is the blond one. Number 2. I feel like Seth looks here. He is so tiny sitting hunched in a little ball on the sidelines preoccupied, daydreaming, oblivious. But he's involved in an obvious-to-everyone-else plan. Sitting out temporarily while the rest of the team rushes up and down the field engulfed in the action. He will get in on it again as soon as he is called upon. I get oblivious. Too often oblivious to "the grand plan" and actually become engulfed in the "sideline action" in my head. I'm snapping out of it again. And again. Coming around, joining the team.
So, I've been pretty sick. Sicker (a word?) than my other three pregnancies, actually four--I miscarried at 8 weeks on one between Seth and Lucy. The wooziness combined with the fatigue have laid me low. I mean low. One day, poor sweet husband came home from a long day at work and found the house in complete disarray. I mean cushions strewn, dishes molding not even in the sink--still stuck to the countertop, crumb-laden floors, well I could disgust you further, but why? I pleaded (as I lay curled up in my little white robe on the couch) for him to "leave it, leave it!" But he didn't--leave it, that is.
He told me two things the other night as we sat at Phoenix's oh-so-hip-and-trendy LGO eating dinner:
1. "My favorite part of you being pregnant (I inferred in my mind that what he was about to say was second only to the baby he gets at the end of it all) is I never know what to expect from you." I protested, saying surely you can't mean you LIKE these mood swings and vomit-complaints?
2. "Despite what you think, I'm watchin' out for you."
He is. Watching out for me. Despite what I think. And I love him for it. My vision is clouded by the omnipresent, aforementioned nausea and fatigue. I can't really "see" straight, I certainly am not thinking straight and while we're on the subject, I can't keep house straight, raise children straight, or perform my wifery duties straight. It is wearing on my normally cheery disposition.
So, that's why I've taken a week "away from the desk". Some days I didn't even turn on the computer. I had nothing positive to report. And, now, I have nothing exciting to report, but feeling much more optimistic. Just the same old Jordan gibberish. So....that's why I bought my garden gnome. He was so cheery sitting in the garden center at Target. He really makes me smile each time I peer out at him amongst the rocks and desert shrubbery. My mom might call and ask if I've gone cuckoo (like when I posted a picture of my lips) And yet, all I really needed was to hear that there was someone out there "watchin' out for me"--not just a gnome (who will travel with us to all our many future garden spots), but a really really important someone.
This week in numbers: four shots for Seth whose bravery was noted and rewarded with the requested "two wrappers of Smarties" candies. He also warned his sister "not to move when you get your shots because when you move it makes the shots hurt". Seth's team played the Gentle Giants on Saturday (game number one)--I don't know who won, but it was fun to watch him running and drowning in his jersey. We (well, Seth) swam in the pool for the last time this season. I made a soup duo: cream of broccoli and chicken noodle (minus the chicken). Craig keeps running working up to that 26.2. We figured out Lucy will be a ladybug and Seth will be a ghost for Halloween. I put a witch silhouette up in the front window. Halloween is in 31 days. Come to our house for some super spooks!
So, feeling a little less pukey, we are also "crossing off this week on the calendar" and moving forward--now with a gnome!!