"...A life typically includes birth, ageing, pain and death. We can spend our lives distracting ourselves from these facts but they are inescapable."
I've been addressing internally the complexity of motherhood. I feel like what I'm doing is not working, for me, or those I mother. The more I think about it the more I realize it is a matter of *surrender*. The surrender begins even before birth--at conception, really--but there is a real collision with this surrender in labor. One woman relates the story of her labor:
"I wanted midwives, candles, incense and pain.
After 34 brave hours of labor, I gratefully accepted when a male doctor offered to slice me open and relieve me of my ordeal.
And from that moment, my life's mission of being my own boss, was terminated. Here I was, a warrior, a fighter, in whose path men trembled with fear, at the beck and call of a shrivelled little ET person who did not understand that I was a woman who ran with the wolves. Suddenly all that I had imagined I was, was fundamentally challenged by this new state. I had strived all my life for independence. Respect. Control. Now, I was a leaking, sagging, encumbered zombie."
Yet, the surrender also includes giving your self up to the present, accepting imperfection and acknowledging the equal importance of each moment.
"The whole world is medicine."
In other words. We can learn something from each life step, every pain, each frustration, each restless, irritating, mundane moment. So, my step today will be to live with more mindfulness: to feel the effects of the ground on my feet, the rush of water over my hands while washing dishes, the taste of the food, the sensation of swallowing and digesting, and the feel of food in my stomach as I eat, the rise and fall of my breath. Then, as I feel anger or frustration bubble up inside me I will acknowledge it, in a spacious mind it will then dissolve.
Resist rating the details of the present moment 'good' or 'bad'.
"...like the stillness of a mountain weathering the extremities of each passing season."
Finding the space of quiet pausing between who I was and who I will become.
*All quotes came from Buddhism for Mothers: a calm approach to caring for yourself and your children by Sarah Napthali