Thursday, February 01, 2007

Three Months Closer to the Right Angle



A year ago on the last day of this month, I hadn't had my period during February. That's when Hazel surprised us with her presence! Of course I'm glad it is this year now and she is safely here. I cannot believe a whole year has passed through this house and she is 3 months old. We are all so much the same and very different. To touch on the namesake of this blog, I feel, now, more than then, closer to my angle of repose. I've learned that a lot of growing up in motherhood and humanhood for that matter, means letting go. Letting go of the pre-maternal vow never to feed my children squishy pasta matter in red sauce out of a can. Also letting go of a lot of fluff that used to define me: literary and linguistic pursuits...higher educational goals...plans to see the world...challenging my body physically with new feats....

The three mini-bosses

I am working on an attitude adjustment, to put it bluntly. I love my life. I love that I don't have any real deadlines. I love that I am the master of my domain (well, except for three mini bosses). I love that we can stay in all day and make up games to fill the hours between meals and sleep or we can go from place to place wearing ourselves out in discovery and the buds of conversation. These are good days, before soccer practices, PTA, lessons, and recitals. Each morning offers a wilderness to spread seeds and pave paths. We four are together A LOT--it's a good thing we love eachother's guts!

10 comments:

Jenny said...

Yes, do enjoy the home time. I am currently living in the PTA, basketball practices, and dance recital phase of life. I thought it would be more glorious and easy. Boy, was I wrong!

I couldn't wait for them to "Grow Up" and what I wouldn't do to sometimes turn back the clock, well maybe just for a day.

I love that you call them the little bosses. So cute, and yet so true. Your kids are seriously darling Jordan!

ShawnaB. said...

Yes, these are happy days. Enjoy them. It's gets so busy sometimes with all the running around. The mini-bosses, DARLING all 3, are so lucky to have you!

I remember last February and our marathon plans and your phone call and then no marathon plans! :)Jordan, I ran that thing because of you. Because you said if we are traveling all that way, we might as well do the big one. Right on!

Love you!

Elizabeth said...

I almost signed my boy up for preschool in the fall and then ripped the paper up and changed my mind. I am not ready to let go of my time with him or our freedom in schedule.
You have some very cute little bosses!

Jill said...

It is definitely nice not to have dealines and to be able to stay in jammies all day at home with cute kids. Looking back on those days I definitely didn't realize how nice they were. You are wise to recognize this now.

Jordan said...

Jill, I am only barely now starting to try and recognize this--I've been fighting it for awhile. I hoping this beginning of a change in attitude will do wonders the stress in my life.

Julia said...

Your mini-bosses are so darling. I guilty of not always being completely satisfied with the place that I am in. It would be so nice not to have deadlines, but I can understand that might make it hard sometimes.

rebecca said...

I love the big picture moments, propelling us through yet another season. Gratitude does have a way of getting tied up in our unrealized expectations, but when we go with it, the day to day, what a blessing! Good luck with the attitude adjustment - I've undergone a major one this year and it seems to have stuck! Why do I keep having to go through these????

amy w. said...

You are an amazing mom and an amazing woman. It is so hard at times to remember to remain in the moment and enjoy these days with our minibosses. I am often reminded when I am out and about with my little ones and sweet old ladies smile at me and tell me to enjoy it--the time is so short. It is so true.

Kelly said...

I think it's a real gift to recognize what a wonderful time of life you're in with the 3 mini-bosses in charge, and not the outside forces of school, lessons, activities, etc. I know I didn't realize that at the time. Now I look back and long for those sometimes. I don't know how we'll do it when my 2 little ones start having things to do of their own. Your mini-bosses are adorable.

Crystalyn said...

i think you have a great attitude! it took me a long while to feel what you're feeling and my little guy is one year away from school already. you are a great mama to see these times for what they are and not wish them away.