Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Girls in the Mist: lost and found

This post, as with all my posts, is for me. To etch gently in my mind the moments in time that earn a notch on my chronology--a place to return to again and again.

"We live in time and through it, we build our huts in its ruins, or used to,
and we cannot afford all these abandonings."
This was the backdrop to my medicinal meanderings and timeless talk with a friend this weekend. The greatest gift and tsunami-sized sacrifice from a sympathetic spouse.
I took Stegner's most well-known novel with me and began to read it again from the beginning. So the trip was nearly narrated with his insights into a woman adjusting to the things to which life requires adjusting. I am daily adapting to what my life is: mother of three, wife of one.
"I am impressed with how much of...life depended on
continuities, contacts, connections, friendships, and blood
This very dependence upon "connections" has, this year, become all to evident as I try and navigate through the unfamiliar waters of "giving nurture" to so many so suddenly. When, for the first 23 years I was the recipient. Do we sometimes feel like abandoning ship? When patience begins to be rationed because of a supply and demand breakdown does it cross our minds? This trip brought me back to the helm, a happier one at that.
"All her life she loved conversation, discussion,
I followed Rebecca around Portland and their charming Newberg leaving a trail of talk in our wake. Curry and conversation, comparing shellfish and shindler's list, then missionless to the book city of Powell's where we search for a long lost copy of Angle of Repose. Getting lost then finding ourselves again. Quiet evening with the couple of the hour--discussions of blushing and sneezing, thoughts also getting lost and found again. Sleeping and reading "in" then a snowfall run along the hazelnut orchards. Sabine to school, a drive around town, the house with the yard, Dutch's hot chocolate and a snickerdoodle for Jake, slight sunshine then a personal rain shower on bald peak.
The rain seemed to play games with us all weekend as we ducked in and out of shelter. Dinner and a movie at home, Love, Actually. Saturday forecasted for rain: our city day. The drive in left surprising secrets shared, then a walk through Washington and Forest parks, inspiration for an album cover and an unexpected blooming tree peppered the stroll. Once again, getting lost and finding our way all to the tune of friends engrossed in eachother's impressions (and a cool radio station). 23rd and a chance meeting in France (it felt that way) at St. Honore Boulangerie: Pear ham and brie, soup, and a sausage apple frittata filled us up for souvenirs, a stroll and a soda.
Sunday was all for me: being fed at the feet of Jeremy and his Sue. They both spoke, one on unlikely friendships one on love. Then I watched as a lesson on salt and its savor sunk in. Off for sleet, sand, and soup at haystack rock. One more taste of fantasy land. The fantasy is of course all in my head--but I seem to pass most of the minutes of my day there--in my head, that is.
Finally, I sat at gate C 13 dreaming of home (Craig) and my "littles" (a stolen term) in clinging wet jeans and sandy boots. Content as a clam chowder. Alone--albeit breifly--again with my book.

"Am or was, I am cumulative, too. I am everything I ever was."

***edit ***Just now peeked at the other version of this story--I miss you, too, and all that is your home!!


Jenny said...

Beautiful post Jordan. My favorite is the one of you in the bookstore. I am glad you gals had so much fun! Definitely well deserved.

annalisa said...

Yes I feel like jumping ship today. I think it shows in my tone too. Today I had tone. I live most of the minutes of my day in my head too. It is one of my most defining characteristics.

michelle said...

Wonderful. I have many days when I feel like jumping ship. I'm so happy that you had such a restorative trip as a solo adult.

I'm pretty jealous about your meanderings in Portland -- especially to Powell's! Beautiful photos, and, thank you for quoting such a sublime book.

rebecca said...

A lovely re-meander through our weather, words, and weekend. An impression of our movements that brings to mind so much more. Thank you! Lovely!

TX Girl said...

Jordan- I just got goose bumps. Such a beautiful tribute to your weekend.

Jenny Dahl said...

Poetic as always Jordan. I love reading your posts. I must admit that I usually have to read them several times. Some I understand and identify well with and others are way over my head,but whether I get them or not they are always beautiful to read. I'm glad the two of you had a spellbound weekend together. Both of you are amazing women!

rebecca said...

Has anyone gotten the "girls in the mist" yet???
Just checking.

Tasha said...

You two could be a Morrissey cover band with that album picture!

I love "girls in the mist" you are entirely too witty!

I am taking "Angle" with me on vacation too!

Jill said...

This is an extremely beautiful post Jordan. It sounds like you a had a perfectly wonderful weekend. To me going to Oregon, reading Angle of Repose, sharing secrets with a friend, and sleeping in sounds like the best of all worlds.

Jordan said...

I think we really SHOULD start a band, use that "Morrissey" album cover and call ourselves "Girls in the Mist"--anyone game??

Kelly said...

This was a lovely lovely post! I so enjoyed seeing all your photos of my familiar places (I live just outside of Portland). It's a special thing to have a friend who just gets you and leaves you feeling more yourself than you started out.

I would totally buy a ticket to see "Girls in the Mist" perform. I love that picture.

Jordan said...

Kelly! We should have met up while I was out there! Next time...

shawnaB. said...

Exquisite! I loved every single word of this. It sounds like the perfect weeked and I'm so glad you got to go.

"Girls in the Mist" - clever, clever! Hey - do that album thing. Will you sign my copy?

Welcome back!!

Kristi Brooke said...

oh my love it.
the photo of the wall... everyone should have such photos with friends

kqmoqup - this seemed like a long word verification, but this is what I got to type, lucky me!