The time is 6:30, the kids-in bed, the agenda-fight the hunger. The panacea-soba noodle soup. I don't particularly enjoy eating alone. I used to. When I was traveling I loved my meals. I felt like I was in a movie, only playing in my head, but it was film noir and deeply intriguing. Now, it is just lonely and done only to satisfy the need to nourish. Tonight it was a delicious bowl of soba noodle soup in miso broth with cabbage, snap peas, and carrots garnished with spring onion, chili powder and black sesame seeds.
My bowl 'o goodness was interrupted by another hungry diner...and finished cold. But, she provided dessert: the sweetest smiles.
Pain--has an Element of Blank--
It cannot recollect
When it begun--or if there were
A time when it was not--
Thank you once again, Ms. Dickinson. I haven't felt like myself lately. Do you ever think, "is this a passing mood, or do I have a "problem that needs to be treated". I have a doting husband, three beautiful, healthy happy children and a lovely home (though a rental) . I have nothing to complain of...except maybe being in the "red" way too often financially...yet...something's just...off.
I'm just going to say it. It is darn hard being the wife of a resident. I do not blame here, I only vent here. Despite every effort on the contrary, I cannot plan. I cannot anticipate a normal routine. No one can really count on me being anywhere. I have difficulty getting errands done. I don't have any money only money guilt (I get twinges of this painful condition even buying diapers). I sometimes think I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it seems light years away. I don't feel like I have the right to complain. Seth, Lucy, and Hazel could care less about my plight and they are who I hang out with for the majority of my days. I don't have an Angie or a Michelle (there's a shortage of this precious commodity in Phoenix). My spouse is always tired so how can I complain of fatigue? He needs a warm loving home to come back to after what he sees all day and I fall short sometimes. Unless you have been the spouse of a medical resident you do not understand. The other resident's wives I know are in the same predicament and so we are never able to get together to understand eachother. I love my life and wouldn't change a thing...but, it is darn hard being the wife of a resident.
I'm just lucky that MY resident happens to be a Craig. Really, I mean this. He is a diamond in the rough world of needles and scrubs.