Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Optimism is Optimal


It may be stating the obvious, but I've discovered that trying to be positive in all aspects of my life seems to make me happier (and when the mom's happy...everyone is happy, right?). It also seems that respect and optimism go hand in hand. With the kids, my husband, my calling, keeping a home, etc., if I give these the respect and positive attitude they deserve, things go smoothly. Especially with a spouse...you are so close and see every detail of eachother's lives, it is almost an open invitation to criticize. Holding back and thinking as well as verbalizing the positive does wonders. I am in constant reform as far as this goes, but it is worth the effort. I mean, really, I have nothing to complain about.

4 comments:

Tasha said...

I know, but its so easy! I feel like I bounce between two extremes all the time. I come home from work totally chastened, realizing what a man among men Dave is, how he is my best friend, the most unconditional person I have in my life, and then I criticize. Some of them are valid concerns, real issues that we should address. BUT, I am a harper. He is quiet and needs TIME to think and process, I take this as ignoring, so I criticize more. None of my marriage counseling clients have a link to your blog, right??? So, the goal for the week, no critiques of anyone in my life, in real or in theory.

Jordan said...

I am also a harper, I like to think it is that I am intensely interested in my relationship and want it to be the best it can be, sometimes I wonder if I don't hinder instead of help.

Tasha said...

I saw a quote on one of these blogs that said "The difference between a mediocre marriage and a successful one is about 3-4 things a day going unsaid". I printed it out and put it on the fridge, trying to remind myself that I can let things go unsaid. It was interesting because Dave read it the opposite way, that he should express MORE.

At any rate, in my case, I think it does hinder. Dave never holds grudges, but I am all too quick to let things tumble out that don't need to be said.

Jordan said...

That's a great quote. I find that not only do I say to mucy, but I start becoming bossy. Because I'm with the kids ALL the time, I just instinctively start telling Craig he should do this or don't do that when it comes to the kids, instead of just letting him be their Dad how he wants to be.